Argh, It's Triple-J

Triple-J. JJJ. The youth radio network of Australia. One of the few good things to come out of the Hydraic bureaucracy which is the Federal Government. I've been a listener to The J's since I was a youth. And now I'm a cranky old bastard I still find myself tuning in to its (slightly) alternative sounds and commercial-free (but not gasbag-free) airtime.

Yep, I have stuck with Auntie's wayward brat cousin, the one with the tats and the piercings and smokes pot, since she went regional in the late 80's. Alas she ain't so alternative any more, though. Triple-J has cleaned herself up. She gotten rid of the Goth-meets-Barbie makeup set, and taken out most of the piercings. She has finished uni and gotten herself an honest job. She has moved out of the filthy squat and into an apartment with a chick named Brooke. She has a steady boyfriend named Andrew. She has given away the partying on weeknights with weed and cheap plonk; instead she goes out on TGIF nights with mates from work, drinking Chardonnay and the occasional Tequila shot.

Yep, little JJJ is all grow'd up. She likes to think she's still "hip" and "with it", still in with today's "young crowd". But Triple-J is and always will be a Generation-X'er.

And so cruel time marches on.

Well maybe I am being a bit harsh. My allegory notwithstanding, JJJ is still the "youth radio network", and in this capacity it must do its darnedest to cater to the youngsters of today. I believe the new generation is referred to as "Generation-Y", because Y comes after X, and this lack of imagination epitomises today's dullard, thumb-punching, barely-literate, novelty-crazed, crap-TV-obsessed youth. Similarly, with this neo listenership something of the old soul of Triple-J has necessarily been shed; that alternative, dare I say "rebellious", spirit, which gave voice to the nation's young folk and airtime to unknown bands commercial radio would not touch, and indelibly stamping The J's screaming presence into the Aussie noosphere.

Thus, sadly, Triple-J has been kicked down the slippery-dip to land face-first into mud puddle of mainstream radio. Gone is the really weird sh*t that could only be appreciated with the aid of severe sleep deprivation or certain psychotropic substances. Now their playlists consist chiefly of pub rock and bubblegum pop, along with an unhealthy dose of wrist-slashing grunge and other listless rubbish which belongs in no particular genre.

And that is when they deign to actually play music. After all the gasbagging, pontificating, social commentating, PC tub-thumping, naval-gazing love-ins, and call-ins by schmucks who like to hear their own voices on the radio, there is little airtime left for a bit of melody.

Make no mistake though, JJJ remains an order of magnitude better than the inanely square commercial networks. This is why, in spite of all I just said, I still tune in to 107.7 on the FM dial, as it is up here in Brizzy. And I do still think Triple-J is a Good Thing. Although more often now I find myself listening in to 4ZZZ, a little ol' community station which embodies that alternative spirit of the "classic" J's.

Now throwing out the Glen A. Baker's Guide To Muso Critiquing Bullsh*t, let's take a pause. Next time I will continue with what I consider to be the worst thing wrong with Triple-J...