Where to Begin, Where to Begin...

The huge card file which is the cranky centre of my brain is stuffed full. Well not exactly full, there's still plenty of room; but the past almost 4 decades has seen it heavily populated with all manner of stupid, banal, dumbass, unconscionable acts that I've witnessed over the years. And each happy day sees one or more glorious episodes added to the collection.

Now my problem is where to start; which of these many pearls of impudence should I entertain you with first. I guess I'll just pick one at random from the catalogue.

But before that, I suppose I had better answer one question: Why?

Why this blog? Of all the pointless rubbish I could scribble on the gargantuan toilet wall which is the internet, why focus on things that sh*t me to tears? Well I think the answer can be best summed up by the conversation I had with my missus (bless her heart).

TVCM: I've started a blog of crankiness.
Missus: How come?
TVCM: My therapist said it would be very cathartic.
Missus: Since when do you have a therapist?
TVCM: Well I don't; but if I did, I'm sure that's what she'd recommend.
Missus: Your therapist is a 'she'?
TVCM: Aren't they all?

So there you have it. Stay tuned...

Just Like Everyone has an Arsehole...

... so everyone has an opinion*. I'm no different, and I freely admit that. Of course like arseholes, some people should keep their opinions firmly hid from sight. Instead of flaunting and flashing them about like drunken uni students, as if the world was abating its breath until the very moment when their freckle should be displayed for all.

But that's ok. Everyone needs a soapbox, just to mix metaphors. Something sturdy and cube-like upon which they can stand, elevating their mouths over the heads of the gathered crowd. Somewhere atop which they can project their opinion to the unwitting ears of the masses.

This blog represents my soapbox, if you will. A special place where I can rain shite and vitriol over the many many things which grind my gears. And hopefully in the process some like-minded ears and voices will bend tither -- perhaps even yours -- and so make a difference.

That's it. Welcome to The Very Cranky Man's place of opinion....

* Unless of course you're one of the unlucky few who's been in a dreadful accident or had some horrible disease which has left you without the organ. But of course you'd still have your opinion.