Dear reader, I gently refer you to the "No Clean Feed" banner on the right. Long story short, there's an Australian senator and douchebag named Stephen Conroy who is doing his utmost to install an all-pervasive clean-feed internet filter in this great nation. An automatic black-box to prohibit certain websites the government has decided are too nefarious or evil for you to look at. The "Great Firewall of Australia", if you will. The same as used in China, Iran, and other such progressive countries.
I'm not going to go through manifold issues and problems associated with this hair-brained scheme, because frankly they've been done to death and I'd start swearing loudly. Again I refer you to the banner.
Let me just say this: Conroy, you bleat about doing this primarily to stamp out child porn, terrorist sites, bomb making, and what have ya. You stick out your chest and bray that you are protecting The People. I say, what a load of bullshit. What a stinking crock of shite. What you are doing is jabbing a thumb into the eye of every law-abiding Australian. Everyone who is capable of monitoring their own kids' internet usage. Every Australian who can look after their own goddam affairs and don't need a bunch of pencil-neck bureaucrats treating them like children.
No. During this whole crooked affair, you have repeatedly demonstrated that you don't care about anything as frivolous as hard facts. You couldn't care less that this ridiculous filter is opposed by every telco in the country, and is a laughing stock internationally. You don't care a skeeter's-dicks-worth that to a determined pedophile, or any 13 year-old with half a brain, this firewall might as well be made of Swiss cheese. You can't stand the fact that your scheme has been exposed as an enormous, expensive flop and completely useless at its primary function.
It's not about child porn. It's not about terrorists. It's not about bomb-making websites. It's all about you, Senator Conroy, having a statue erected to yourself, and this moronic, Orwellian scheme is it. It would be laughable if it wasn't so f*cking perverse.
Sen. Conroy, you are the worst brand of arsehole. Instead of using taxpayers money for something useful, like, I dunno, building schools and roads, you instead dump millions down this sinkhole which is a testament to your mountainous ego. And at the same time do more to kill learning and free speech than anything cooked up in the Politburo's biggest wet dream. I can only hope that history will judge you and your firewall as the steaming pile of crap it is, and it will be used evermore as a bad example. I can also hope you die horribly.
But wait... Toot toot! Here comes the clean-feed gravy train, and it's not only pollys jumping on it. Now we have lilly-livered journos sticking their fingers down their throats and emitting sputum like this. Have a read all the way to the end. All I can say is, I see The Australian is still the pandering, slobbering idiot sidekick to the federal government it always has been.
And to the author, Mr Mark Day, you blind retard, I say: This is the thin end of the wedge. Restrictions on peoples' liberties imposed by the government always ratchet forward -- they never stay still, and never ever go back. Mark my words, if this firewall goes ahead, it will not stop there. And as for your comment that, if so, "there would be immediate marching in the streets and [Conroy'd] be drummed out of office"... well as my head tips back and I roar with laughter, it's painfully obvious that you, Mark Day, are a poor student of history. You are also a knob. But then, what do we expect from a Finance writer? Bet you didn't see the global meltdown coming, either. F*ckwit.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Welcome, Visitors
I've just seen a preview for the upcoming "V" television series. (Sorry if this is old news, but here in the Antipodes we're 16 years behind the rest of the civilised world when it comes to TV shows.) This, of course, is a reboot of the classic '80s series, which I loved as a kid. I don't know anything about the new series, but at least it can't get savaged by the PC monster like BSG was, 'coz in a fit of foresight they made the original series with many female leads.
Anyway, IIRC, the whole premise of V is this: Aliens come to Earth in peace; Aliens give primitive Earthlings amazing technology and gadgets, just 'coz they're nice guys; Aliens are secretly lizards in disguise, harvesting humans like cattle for food; Aliens are exposed for the avaricious bastards they are, but the propaganda machine kicks in and no one believes it; A few intrepid Earthlings band together to fight the dastardly lizards Red Dawn style; Aliens eventually drop the pretence and just take over Earth completely; Much pew-pew ensues.
That about sums it up. Hey, makes for a cool TV show in my book!
So basically the crux of the show, the tagline if you will, is this: "We dun like you dang alienz eatin' our wimmen and chillun!" *click click*.
But it gots me to thinking. So the aliens will give us all this amazing technology, like interstellar space travel, unlimited energy, a cure for old age, and, heaven forbid, an economic system not based on shameless consumption and greed... and all they want is some people meat to munch on?
Where do we sign up?
I mean, it's not like we don't have a distressing surplice of Earthlings. Surely we wouldn't miss the less desirable members of our species, in exchange for this wonderful technology. I say, round up all the pedophiles, unrepentant criminals, CEOs, dole bludgers, politicians, capricious celebrities, hippies, feminazis, PC nazis... stick apples in their mouths, and serve up the lot of them.
What exactly is the problem here?
Just think of the veritable phalanxes of human trash we see every day, on the news, in the mall, on the street. Bogans, sickos, losers, bloodsuckers, f*cktards... the world is full of 'em. You can't move in a public space without tripping over them.
How long are the above degenerates going to continue to cost society, when they could instead be a precious resource? How long must the poor aliens go hungry because of our misguided sense of morality? Hell, I'd pay the aliens to take them all away.
Consider the following:
And this, in exchange for living forever and zooming through the stars. Let's face it, we'd be fools not to go with this deal. I mean, it's not like War of the Worlds, where the Martians were mindless automatons indiscriminately harvesting everyone they came across... The "visitors" from V seem approachable and open to reason, and willing to allow us to "hand pick" their dinner for them, if it'll save them some grief.
Seriously, where do we sign up?
So, come, hear our cries oh Aliens! Welcome to Earth's All You Can Eat, relieve us of our unwanted populace. Although knowing my luck, the aliens will have their own version of "healthy organic eating" and will reject the human garbage we dish up as junk food.
Anyway, IIRC, the whole premise of V is this: Aliens come to Earth in peace; Aliens give primitive Earthlings amazing technology and gadgets, just 'coz they're nice guys; Aliens are secretly lizards in disguise, harvesting humans like cattle for food; Aliens are exposed for the avaricious bastards they are, but the propaganda machine kicks in and no one believes it; A few intrepid Earthlings band together to fight the dastardly lizards Red Dawn style; Aliens eventually drop the pretence and just take over Earth completely; Much pew-pew ensues.
That about sums it up. Hey, makes for a cool TV show in my book!
So basically the crux of the show, the tagline if you will, is this: "We dun like you dang alienz eatin' our wimmen and chillun!" *click click*.
But it gots me to thinking. So the aliens will give us all this amazing technology, like interstellar space travel, unlimited energy, a cure for old age, and, heaven forbid, an economic system not based on shameless consumption and greed... and all they want is some people meat to munch on?
Where do we sign up?
I mean, it's not like we don't have a distressing surplice of Earthlings. Surely we wouldn't miss the less desirable members of our species, in exchange for this wonderful technology. I say, round up all the pedophiles, unrepentant criminals, CEOs, dole bludgers, politicians, capricious celebrities, hippies, feminazis, PC nazis... stick apples in their mouths, and serve up the lot of them.
What exactly is the problem here?
Just think of the veritable phalanxes of human trash we see every day, on the news, in the mall, on the street. Bogans, sickos, losers, bloodsuckers, f*cktards... the world is full of 'em. You can't move in a public space without tripping over them.
How long are the above degenerates going to continue to cost society, when they could instead be a precious resource? How long must the poor aliens go hungry because of our misguided sense of morality? Hell, I'd pay the aliens to take them all away.
Consider the following:
- The line-up of a single The Fattest Loser series could feed their entire home planet for a year;
- In a twist of irony, spammers could be literally made into spam for tasty Alien kiddies school lunches;
- Giant corporate CEOs would be especially nutritious, jam-packed with all that blood they have sucked from the people for so long.
And this, in exchange for living forever and zooming through the stars. Let's face it, we'd be fools not to go with this deal. I mean, it's not like War of the Worlds, where the Martians were mindless automatons indiscriminately harvesting everyone they came across... The "visitors" from V seem approachable and open to reason, and willing to allow us to "hand pick" their dinner for them, if it'll save them some grief.
Seriously, where do we sign up?
So, come, hear our cries oh Aliens! Welcome to Earth's All You Can Eat, relieve us of our unwanted populace. Although knowing my luck, the aliens will have their own version of "healthy organic eating" and will reject the human garbage we dish up as junk food.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Screw You, Dick Smith
When I was just a nipper, I liked doing nerdy things like making electronic circuits. While the other kids were smashing bottles and beating up old ladies, or whatever it was they did with their empty time, I was actually filling my mind with a cool and marketable skill. I was lightyears ahead of my peers in the intelligence stakes.
Integral to this process was Dick Smith Electronics (DSE) -- a chain of electronics stores, which, as its name suggests, specialised in selling electronics for the hobbyist. These included DYI kits and educational materials (who remember the good ol' "Funway into Electronics" series), reference books, components, tools, magazines, and larger commodities. It was a geek's paradise.
Alas when Big-W bought out DSE in 1982 and moved into mainstream consumer items and computers, everybody lamented -- but to their credit, DSE maintained its existing line of specialised electronics and remained true to the hobbyist.
This tradition continued down the years; even as more and more consumer goods cluttered the shelves, yet the hobbyist electronics could still be found, albeit pushed into the dark, hidden corners of the store. I mean, the "Funway" books were all very much in print from inception in 1979 until the present day. Or almost the present day.
So DSE, or "Tricky Dicky's" as it is affectionately known, maintains a warm and fuzzy place in my psyche.
That was, until the other day.
Now I had a mind to plug my car's engine management system into my computer. Why? Because it's there. Trawling the internet I found a simple circuit and bit of software to do just that, for my car's make/model. Great, I said. All I need do is amble down to DSE and buy the required components. Yep, good old Tricky Dicky's won't let me down.
Oh boy did it let me down.
Going into my local store, the first thing I noticed was there were a lot fewer shelves. I also noticed the store was a lot brighter. There was a good reason for that. Where the hobbyist electronic items used to live -- rows upon rows of resistors, capacitors, LEDs, connectors, boards -- all had been swept away. And replaced with TVs. Lots of TVs. Bloody TVs everywhere, their bright plasma and LCD panels whitewashing the store like a goddam mental ward.
I stumped through the store three times. Not a single electronic component, DYI kit, or reference manual anywhere. Nothing but TVs, stereos, computers, satnavs, and PC games. A consumerist jungle. Even the beloved "Funway" books were sadly absent.
So that's it, huh. DSE has gone fully consumer, and not a thimble full of piss for the electronic hobbyist.
This is just f**ked. Dick Smith's was about the last place still selling hobbyist electronics in this drab country. But not any more. I mean, it's not like you can't find consumer items anywhere. Every second goddam store you come across is packed with consumer electronics. You got your Harvey Norman, JB Hi-Fi, Chandlers, Retravision, Good Guys, plus all the department stores. You can't walk into a f**kin store without being roasted by the heat from all the TVs, or your ear drums busted from the stereos. It's friggin' ridiculous.
I don't begrudge DSE selling popular consumer items and making a buck. But why get rid of the specialist stuff? Why not have both, and cater to people with an actual brain? What you've done, DSE, is told all those hobbyists who've been loyal customers for years, to bend over and cop an elephant's foot right up the you-know-what. You have fully screwed the electronics hobbyist and joined the overblown ranks of money-grubbing consumerist dirtbags.
That's the last time I walk into a DSE store, you pack of arseholes. But I guess that's the way the wind's blowing: we're living in a country that doesn't support anyone with any intelligence. I'm sick of it. We're nothing but a bunch of drooling, slack-jawed, beer-sucking, cricket-watching morons with smarts enough to press the "on/off" button, as long as it's clearly marked. I swear to god, being "technically savvy" these days means knowing how to change the aspect ratio on your new 1080i 50" plasma.
F**kwits.
Integral to this process was Dick Smith Electronics (DSE) -- a chain of electronics stores, which, as its name suggests, specialised in selling electronics for the hobbyist. These included DYI kits and educational materials (who remember the good ol' "Funway into Electronics" series), reference books, components, tools, magazines, and larger commodities. It was a geek's paradise.
Alas when Big-W bought out DSE in 1982 and moved into mainstream consumer items and computers, everybody lamented -- but to their credit, DSE maintained its existing line of specialised electronics and remained true to the hobbyist.
This tradition continued down the years; even as more and more consumer goods cluttered the shelves, yet the hobbyist electronics could still be found, albeit pushed into the dark, hidden corners of the store. I mean, the "Funway" books were all very much in print from inception in 1979 until the present day. Or almost the present day.
So DSE, or "Tricky Dicky's" as it is affectionately known, maintains a warm and fuzzy place in my psyche.
That was, until the other day.
Now I had a mind to plug my car's engine management system into my computer. Why? Because it's there. Trawling the internet I found a simple circuit and bit of software to do just that, for my car's make/model. Great, I said. All I need do is amble down to DSE and buy the required components. Yep, good old Tricky Dicky's won't let me down.
Oh boy did it let me down.
Going into my local store, the first thing I noticed was there were a lot fewer shelves. I also noticed the store was a lot brighter. There was a good reason for that. Where the hobbyist electronic items used to live -- rows upon rows of resistors, capacitors, LEDs, connectors, boards -- all had been swept away. And replaced with TVs. Lots of TVs. Bloody TVs everywhere, their bright plasma and LCD panels whitewashing the store like a goddam mental ward.
I stumped through the store three times. Not a single electronic component, DYI kit, or reference manual anywhere. Nothing but TVs, stereos, computers, satnavs, and PC games. A consumerist jungle. Even the beloved "Funway" books were sadly absent.
So that's it, huh. DSE has gone fully consumer, and not a thimble full of piss for the electronic hobbyist.
This is just f**ked. Dick Smith's was about the last place still selling hobbyist electronics in this drab country. But not any more. I mean, it's not like you can't find consumer items anywhere. Every second goddam store you come across is packed with consumer electronics. You got your Harvey Norman, JB Hi-Fi, Chandlers, Retravision, Good Guys, plus all the department stores. You can't walk into a f**kin store without being roasted by the heat from all the TVs, or your ear drums busted from the stereos. It's friggin' ridiculous.
I don't begrudge DSE selling popular consumer items and making a buck. But why get rid of the specialist stuff? Why not have both, and cater to people with an actual brain? What you've done, DSE, is told all those hobbyists who've been loyal customers for years, to bend over and cop an elephant's foot right up the you-know-what. You have fully screwed the electronics hobbyist and joined the overblown ranks of money-grubbing consumerist dirtbags.
That's the last time I walk into a DSE store, you pack of arseholes. But I guess that's the way the wind's blowing: we're living in a country that doesn't support anyone with any intelligence. I'm sick of it. We're nothing but a bunch of drooling, slack-jawed, beer-sucking, cricket-watching morons with smarts enough to press the "on/off" button, as long as it's clearly marked. I swear to god, being "technically savvy" these days means knowing how to change the aspect ratio on your new 1080i 50" plasma.
F**kwits.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Bloody Limpdicks
Yesterday Hell was graced with the presence of another of the world's chief scumbags, one Noordin Mohammad Top. This #1 bastard terrorist was responsible for a litany of crimes as long as your arm: The 2002 and 2005 Bali bombings, the 2004 Australian Embassy bombing in Jakarta, the 2009 hotel bombings... the list goes on. All I can say is, good f**king riddance you dog. Noordin was the type of bottom-feeding parasite who did nothing himself -- he recruited young people down on their luck, smooth-talking them into doing all his dirty work for him. I spit on his grave.
The best part is, this monster was shot dead during a raid by Indonesian police. Each of those officers deserves a medal. They saved the Indonesian government a long and expensive legal process, which could have turned Noordin into a terrorists' poster child, as we saw with the other Bali bombers. The police also spared the world five years of looking at Noordin's smug, ugly face on the news. We did get to see his corpse, though.
I don't know anyone who wouldn't have pulled the trigger and blown Noordin's brains out, given the chance. Everyone I've spoken to says they would not have had the least bit of hesitation in executing this scumbag. Then we had a line of people on the news -- talking heads, victims of the Bali bombing, people in the street -- agreeing whole-heartedly with Noordin's killing. Even our illustrious Prime Minister, Ruddy Rudd, got on the news and crowed about what an excellent result for justice it was.
I'm sure if Noordin was captured alive, they'd all love to band together and lynch him out of his gaol cell. And fair enough.
Hey, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm just as blood-thirsty as the next guy, especially when it comes to mass-murdering scumbags who, by their evil deeds, have relinquished their right to live. And the fallout surrounding Noordin's death has affirmed that a majority of Australians agree with me.
So, what I wanna know is this:
WHY DON'T WE HAVE THE DEATH PENALTY IN THIS COUNTRY???
I'm telling ya, we've bred our own special brand of evil-doers in this country. Mass murderers, torturers, repeated child rapists. Arseholes who have perpetrated their wicked deeds on our very soil, and -- for victims, for society, and for the common good -- have no more right to live than a rabid animal. Individuals who are proven beyond a doubt to be guilty, who show no remorse, who have no hope of rehabilitation, who laugh when asked about their victims, who would certainly re-offend if let go, and do nothing but leech off the society whose "compassion" is the only thing keeping them breathing.
Can someone please tell me... Why are these degenerates permitted to live?
Let me give you an example: Martin Bryant. This psychopath shot and killed 35 people in Tasmania. His crimes jerked knees all over the country, and led to the limp-wristed firearm laws we enjoy today. But do we put Bryant down like the rabid dog he is? Noooooooo. Instead we spend a fortune in taxpayers money keeping this mongrel fed and housed in prison for the rest of his miserable life. Now he is on 24-hour suicide watch, 'coz he is "really depressed." And how much is this costing the taxpayer, to have some warden stand over him every second? Here's a thought -- give the bastard a pair of shoelaces and a chair. Problem solved.
"But JQ," all the lily-livered liberals chime in, "Capital punishment is bad! You can't answer murder with murder! It's revenge, not justice! It's wrong! Is this not an evolved society? Does not keeping sadistic murderers in prison for 50 years elevate us above the primitive?"
Bullshit.
The bleeding-hearts can bray on about social justice until they're blue in the face. The fact remains, a majority -- and I mean majority -- of Australians agree with capital punishment. From the lowliest chimney-sweep up to the bloody Prime Minister, they all say, for the worst criminals, execute the bastards.
Again, someone tell me why we don't have capital punishment in this country? I thought we were living in a f**king democracy?
I tell you why: Because we're a pack of wimps. We're too spineless to stand up to a small minority of humanitarian hypocrites and demand what's right. At the same time we're too limpdick to deal with the moral and legal can-of-worms associated with the death penalty. So we just sweep it under the rug, and cluck our tongues when the TV confronts us with a criminal so evil that she or he deserves nought but death. It's fine when it happens overseas in one of those "less evolved" countries; but not here. No, no, no, no, no.
Arseholes.
The best part is, this monster was shot dead during a raid by Indonesian police. Each of those officers deserves a medal. They saved the Indonesian government a long and expensive legal process, which could have turned Noordin into a terrorists' poster child, as we saw with the other Bali bombers. The police also spared the world five years of looking at Noordin's smug, ugly face on the news. We did get to see his corpse, though.
I don't know anyone who wouldn't have pulled the trigger and blown Noordin's brains out, given the chance. Everyone I've spoken to says they would not have had the least bit of hesitation in executing this scumbag. Then we had a line of people on the news -- talking heads, victims of the Bali bombing, people in the street -- agreeing whole-heartedly with Noordin's killing. Even our illustrious Prime Minister, Ruddy Rudd, got on the news and crowed about what an excellent result for justice it was.
I'm sure if Noordin was captured alive, they'd all love to band together and lynch him out of his gaol cell. And fair enough.
Hey, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm just as blood-thirsty as the next guy, especially when it comes to mass-murdering scumbags who, by their evil deeds, have relinquished their right to live. And the fallout surrounding Noordin's death has affirmed that a majority of Australians agree with me.
So, what I wanna know is this:
WHY DON'T WE HAVE THE DEATH PENALTY IN THIS COUNTRY???
I'm telling ya, we've bred our own special brand of evil-doers in this country. Mass murderers, torturers, repeated child rapists. Arseholes who have perpetrated their wicked deeds on our very soil, and -- for victims, for society, and for the common good -- have no more right to live than a rabid animal. Individuals who are proven beyond a doubt to be guilty, who show no remorse, who have no hope of rehabilitation, who laugh when asked about their victims, who would certainly re-offend if let go, and do nothing but leech off the society whose "compassion" is the only thing keeping them breathing.
Can someone please tell me... Why are these degenerates permitted to live?
Let me give you an example: Martin Bryant. This psychopath shot and killed 35 people in Tasmania. His crimes jerked knees all over the country, and led to the limp-wristed firearm laws we enjoy today. But do we put Bryant down like the rabid dog he is? Noooooooo. Instead we spend a fortune in taxpayers money keeping this mongrel fed and housed in prison for the rest of his miserable life. Now he is on 24-hour suicide watch, 'coz he is "really depressed." And how much is this costing the taxpayer, to have some warden stand over him every second? Here's a thought -- give the bastard a pair of shoelaces and a chair. Problem solved.
"But JQ," all the lily-livered liberals chime in, "Capital punishment is bad! You can't answer murder with murder! It's revenge, not justice! It's wrong! Is this not an evolved society? Does not keeping sadistic murderers in prison for 50 years elevate us above the primitive?"
Bullshit.
The bleeding-hearts can bray on about social justice until they're blue in the face. The fact remains, a majority -- and I mean majority -- of Australians agree with capital punishment. From the lowliest chimney-sweep up to the bloody Prime Minister, they all say, for the worst criminals, execute the bastards.
Again, someone tell me why we don't have capital punishment in this country? I thought we were living in a f**king democracy?
I tell you why: Because we're a pack of wimps. We're too spineless to stand up to a small minority of humanitarian hypocrites and demand what's right. At the same time we're too limpdick to deal with the moral and legal can-of-worms associated with the death penalty. So we just sweep it under the rug, and cluck our tongues when the TV confronts us with a criminal so evil that she or he deserves nought but death. It's fine when it happens overseas in one of those "less evolved" countries; but not here. No, no, no, no, no.
Arseholes.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Skippy... Skippy...
Tonight the ABC had a doco on. It was about that old classic TV show, Skippy.
Heheheh. Who didn't love Skippy as a kid? I sure as hell did. The helicopter was the coolest. Even though the show hasn't been on free-to-air for like 15 years, all the little kiddies love Skippy even today. Hooray!
The doco did what doco's about classic TV programs do -- showed some old clips, got a bunch of original cast and crew together, plus some other moguls, recounted some cool memories and amusing anecdotes, and had a few laughs. They even had a surprise interview with Skippy herself, although she looked distressingly stuffed. The whole thing was hosted by Magda Szubanksi, who is living proof that not all jolly people are fat :P
But then, in true ABC style, they had to go and ruin it. *tsktsktsk* What's that, Skip? *tsktsktsk* They've gone and interviewed Germaine Greer and put her on the show? *tsktsktsk* Oh, no!
That's right, folks, Germaine Greer. That dried up old prune. That mirthless old witch. There she sat, with sand in her vagina, ready to spew all kinds of androphobic vitriol we'd expect from her. What the hell were the producers thinking, putting the likes of Greer on a doco about an old TV show? How does the opinion of a man-hating humanities professor count for three-eighths of a pinch of sh*t? Answer: It doesn't.
Let me spell it out: Germaine Greer is not witty. Germaine Greer is not erudite. Germaine Greer is a tool. She has made a career of bashing anything male, which is ironic considering it is the male tax-paying majority which keeps her bony ass in tenure and from starving to death.
I think I know why the producers put Greer on the show. Because the cast of Skippy were nearly all male. Perhaps they were hoping for a juicily scathing comment or misandrist observation courtesy of Mizz Bobbitt.
Be that as it may, to my cardiac-arrest-inducing surprise, Greer kept her comments relatively tame. Or more likely, her more inflammatory opinions were left on the cutting room floor where they belong. Her chief criticism of a 40 year-old children's show featuring a kangaroo lie with the lead child actor: Greer felt it did the kid's upbringing no good to be hanging around grown-up men all day. Interesting... they did tell Greer that Sonny was a boy, didn't they?
Way to f**k up an otherwise good doco, and smear the memory of a really great old show. Bloody idiots.
Heheheh. Who didn't love Skippy as a kid? I sure as hell did. The helicopter was the coolest. Even though the show hasn't been on free-to-air for like 15 years, all the little kiddies love Skippy even today. Hooray!
The doco did what doco's about classic TV programs do -- showed some old clips, got a bunch of original cast and crew together, plus some other moguls, recounted some cool memories and amusing anecdotes, and had a few laughs. They even had a surprise interview with Skippy herself, although she looked distressingly stuffed. The whole thing was hosted by Magda Szubanksi, who is living proof that not all jolly people are fat :P
But then, in true ABC style, they had to go and ruin it. *tsktsktsk* What's that, Skip? *tsktsktsk* They've gone and interviewed Germaine Greer and put her on the show? *tsktsktsk* Oh, no!
That's right, folks, Germaine Greer. That dried up old prune. That mirthless old witch. There she sat, with sand in her vagina, ready to spew all kinds of androphobic vitriol we'd expect from her. What the hell were the producers thinking, putting the likes of Greer on a doco about an old TV show? How does the opinion of a man-hating humanities professor count for three-eighths of a pinch of sh*t? Answer: It doesn't.
Let me spell it out: Germaine Greer is not witty. Germaine Greer is not erudite. Germaine Greer is a tool. She has made a career of bashing anything male, which is ironic considering it is the male tax-paying majority which keeps her bony ass in tenure and from starving to death.
I think I know why the producers put Greer on the show. Because the cast of Skippy were nearly all male. Perhaps they were hoping for a juicily scathing comment or misandrist observation courtesy of Mizz Bobbitt.
Be that as it may, to my cardiac-arrest-inducing surprise, Greer kept her comments relatively tame. Or more likely, her more inflammatory opinions were left on the cutting room floor where they belong. Her chief criticism of a 40 year-old children's show featuring a kangaroo lie with the lead child actor: Greer felt it did the kid's upbringing no good to be hanging around grown-up men all day. Interesting... they did tell Greer that Sonny was a boy, didn't they?
Way to f**k up an otherwise good doco, and smear the memory of a really great old show. Bloody idiots.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Poor Old Patrick
As you would know if you had eyes and/or ears, Patrick Swayze died today. I wasn't a huge fan, but nevertheless, it's too bad. I always felt Swayze was one of the better Hollywood types; for instance, he was actually married to the same woman his entire adult life, rather than hitching his wagon to 15 women in succession, as is the norm in Tinsel Town.
Swayze died of pancreatic cancer, which is a particularly nasty thing to get. By the time it's detected, it's pretty much in the "you're f**ked" stage. The 5-year survival rate is nil. Of course not many people know anything about pancreatic cancer, because it has no ribbon day or special coloured bottle-tops or worldwide awareness campaign rammed down our throats every five minutes. Too bad.
Now for the reports of Swayze's passing on the news. I betcha can't guess which song they played in remembrance? Go on, have a guess. Hint: think of the most overdone bleating piece of soppy ear-worm rubbish ever foistered upon our long term memories. No, not the one by Peter Allen. Not the Louis Armstrong one, either. You know it.
I refer of course to the piece from Ghost. Urgh, just typing the name makes my fingers want to break themselves. Oh dear god I hate that song. And its playing on the news was just so bloody predictable. When the news came on, I thought to myself, "I bet they play that clip and song from Ghost." Lo-and-behold! How did I know? Beacuse they *ALWAYS* played the clip and song from Ghost when speaking of Patrick Swayze. For the past 20 freakin years, whenever Patrick Swayze was on the news, they just had to accompany him with that clip and song from Ghost. It's a joke. It's so predictable it's not even f**king funny. I wish the TAB was taking bets on it. I would've cleaned up. Actually not really, they would've only put 10:9 odds on.
Christ, that movie's filled with more saccharine than an entire Coke Zero factory. It was responsible for whole rainforests being cut down and made in tissues. But that's not the worst of it. The worst part is, it was the lowest form of bad taste that they play a clip from Ghost -- a movie about Swayze's character being dead -- along with that awful f**king song, to report on Swayze's death. It seemed like mockery, a cruel joke, and the perpetrators ought to be shot. Morons. Knobs.
Why can't we remember Swayze for his far superior work? Like his stuff from the 80's, cool stuff with guns and swords and adventurous ass-whoopin'. Or his newer off-the-wall work. Sh*t, even Dirty Dancing was better than Ghost. I mean, I give you Red Dawn... at the height of the Cold War the evil Ruskies invade the good ol' USA, and Swayze plays a teen jock out kickin' commie butt. That movie has so much awesome they're doing a remake, 20 years after the fall of the USSR.
WOLVERINES!!
Anyhow that would've been a far better testament to Swayze's last days, as he fought like a trooper to whoop the Big-C.
How we wanna remember The Swayz... "Eat this, evil bastard cancer!"
But noooooooo, everyone's just gotta have that soppy, stilted, hackneyed, clichéd shite from Ghost. Putzes.
Swayze died of pancreatic cancer, which is a particularly nasty thing to get. By the time it's detected, it's pretty much in the "you're f**ked" stage. The 5-year survival rate is nil. Of course not many people know anything about pancreatic cancer, because it has no ribbon day or special coloured bottle-tops or worldwide awareness campaign rammed down our throats every five minutes. Too bad.
Now for the reports of Swayze's passing on the news. I betcha can't guess which song they played in remembrance? Go on, have a guess. Hint: think of the most overdone bleating piece of soppy ear-worm rubbish ever foistered upon our long term memories. No, not the one by Peter Allen. Not the Louis Armstrong one, either. You know it.
I refer of course to the piece from Ghost. Urgh, just typing the name makes my fingers want to break themselves. Oh dear god I hate that song. And its playing on the news was just so bloody predictable. When the news came on, I thought to myself, "I bet they play that clip and song from Ghost." Lo-and-behold! How did I know? Beacuse they *ALWAYS* played the clip and song from Ghost when speaking of Patrick Swayze. For the past 20 freakin years, whenever Patrick Swayze was on the news, they just had to accompany him with that clip and song from Ghost. It's a joke. It's so predictable it's not even f**king funny. I wish the TAB was taking bets on it. I would've cleaned up. Actually not really, they would've only put 10:9 odds on.
Christ, that movie's filled with more saccharine than an entire Coke Zero factory. It was responsible for whole rainforests being cut down and made in tissues. But that's not the worst of it. The worst part is, it was the lowest form of bad taste that they play a clip from Ghost -- a movie about Swayze's character being dead -- along with that awful f**king song, to report on Swayze's death. It seemed like mockery, a cruel joke, and the perpetrators ought to be shot. Morons. Knobs.
Why can't we remember Swayze for his far superior work? Like his stuff from the 80's, cool stuff with guns and swords and adventurous ass-whoopin'. Or his newer off-the-wall work. Sh*t, even Dirty Dancing was better than Ghost. I mean, I give you Red Dawn... at the height of the Cold War the evil Ruskies invade the good ol' USA, and Swayze plays a teen jock out kickin' commie butt. That movie has so much awesome they're doing a remake, 20 years after the fall of the USSR.
WOLVERINES!!
Anyhow that would've been a far better testament to Swayze's last days, as he fought like a trooper to whoop the Big-C.
How we wanna remember The Swayz... "Eat this, evil bastard cancer!"
But noooooooo, everyone's just gotta have that soppy, stilted, hackneyed, clichéd shite from Ghost. Putzes.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
More Desensitisation on the Way
Today on the news I saw a preview of the newest scare-your-pants-off ad campaign. This one is for the dangers of texting while driving.
Firstly... IMO anyone who texts while driving is too braindead to have a drivers licence. In fact they're too retarded to be out unsupervised. I can't believe any higher-order animal would be moronic enough to take one hand off the wheel and both eyes off the road, just to respond like Pavlov's dog to some dinging electronic gadget. But apparently the road is full of them. Put it this way, would you open a laptop and reply to an email while driving? Sounds ludicrous doesn't it, but it's exactly the same as texting. And it's enough of a problem to warrant a government scare campaign. Apparently.
But that's not the thing. The thing is, now the taxpayer has been slugged yet more millions of dollars, again, to cater for society's lowest-common-denominators. And so here follows another in a long line graphic ads, like gory car accidents, skanky smoking diseases, all the way back to that laughable AIDS ad with the bowling Grim Reaper. Here we go again.
This latest effort features three young chicks in a car (notice how it's always females, coz no one gives a sh*t about males) getting suitably creamed because the dumb blonde driver is busy texting. We're treated to grisly slo-mo shots of their empty heads being smacked around by extreme kinetic energy. Punctuated by a sad, sad image of the paramedic cradling one of the poor dead girls. Awwwwwwwwwwwww.
To those government bureaucrats who make up these ad campaigns: Would you wake up! No one cares. No one gives a sh*t. People have been hounded by these kinds of "public service" images for years now. We're sick of it. We've become desensitised to it. We just switch off. It's proven that we just switch off. These ads do nothing to dissuade the behaviour they're supposed to, and they're nothing but a waste of time and money.
Ok, you wants disturbing images? You want something to make viewers cringe? Don't stop at the girls suffering head injuries. Show the car catching fire, and the occupants screaming as they are burnt horrifically. Show one person surviving, only to live an insufferable life of terrible burns and disfiguring injuries. (BTW this did happen in Texas... a poor girl was hit by a drunk driver, and suffered most terrible burns to her face. They put her on TV.) But will they do that here? Noooooooo, that would be *too* traumatic for the little viewers, wouldn't it.
So instead we're gonna have sixty drawn-out seconds of cheap melodrama. Stuff that contains nothing the kids don't see every day on youtube, and just makes every free-thinking adult laugh. "Here we go again..." I mean, look at the gory rubbish we're subjected to in prime-time TV shows, such as Law & Order. People murdered, raped, beaten, tortured, and cut-up bodies on the slab. This kind of crap shocks no one any more.
"But JQ", you say, "we gotta have these public service ads! People haveta be warned!" You want warning? Ok then. The experts reckon that texting increases your chances of having an accident 20-fold. They said it is more dangerous than drink driving. So, you get caught texting while driving... instant loss of licence. No ifs no buts. Secure your vehicle and start walking, or call daddy to pick you up. Why should some poor bastard who had 2 schooners be hauled off like a criminal, while some baby-killing texter gets a $100 fine? You start tearing up licences on the spot, and I guarantee after one week you won't even see a mobile phone in a car.
But no. The government kill-em-with-guilt department will keep churning out scare ads, while some greedy ad agency gets richer and the taxpayer gets poorer. And some self-satisfied bureaucrat can pull his pud over his latest effort to Do Something. And we'll all have to watch the stupid crap every f**king ad break.
Firstly... IMO anyone who texts while driving is too braindead to have a drivers licence. In fact they're too retarded to be out unsupervised. I can't believe any higher-order animal would be moronic enough to take one hand off the wheel and both eyes off the road, just to respond like Pavlov's dog to some dinging electronic gadget. But apparently the road is full of them. Put it this way, would you open a laptop and reply to an email while driving? Sounds ludicrous doesn't it, but it's exactly the same as texting. And it's enough of a problem to warrant a government scare campaign. Apparently.
But that's not the thing. The thing is, now the taxpayer has been slugged yet more millions of dollars, again, to cater for society's lowest-common-denominators. And so here follows another in a long line graphic ads, like gory car accidents, skanky smoking diseases, all the way back to that laughable AIDS ad with the bowling Grim Reaper. Here we go again.
This latest effort features three young chicks in a car (notice how it's always females, coz no one gives a sh*t about males) getting suitably creamed because the dumb blonde driver is busy texting. We're treated to grisly slo-mo shots of their empty heads being smacked around by extreme kinetic energy. Punctuated by a sad, sad image of the paramedic cradling one of the poor dead girls. Awwwwwwwwwwwww.
To those government bureaucrats who make up these ad campaigns: Would you wake up! No one cares. No one gives a sh*t. People have been hounded by these kinds of "public service" images for years now. We're sick of it. We've become desensitised to it. We just switch off. It's proven that we just switch off. These ads do nothing to dissuade the behaviour they're supposed to, and they're nothing but a waste of time and money.
Ok, you wants disturbing images? You want something to make viewers cringe? Don't stop at the girls suffering head injuries. Show the car catching fire, and the occupants screaming as they are burnt horrifically. Show one person surviving, only to live an insufferable life of terrible burns and disfiguring injuries. (BTW this did happen in Texas... a poor girl was hit by a drunk driver, and suffered most terrible burns to her face. They put her on TV.) But will they do that here? Noooooooo, that would be *too* traumatic for the little viewers, wouldn't it.
So instead we're gonna have sixty drawn-out seconds of cheap melodrama. Stuff that contains nothing the kids don't see every day on youtube, and just makes every free-thinking adult laugh. "Here we go again..." I mean, look at the gory rubbish we're subjected to in prime-time TV shows, such as Law & Order. People murdered, raped, beaten, tortured, and cut-up bodies on the slab. This kind of crap shocks no one any more.
"But JQ", you say, "we gotta have these public service ads! People haveta be warned!" You want warning? Ok then. The experts reckon that texting increases your chances of having an accident 20-fold. They said it is more dangerous than drink driving. So, you get caught texting while driving... instant loss of licence. No ifs no buts. Secure your vehicle and start walking, or call daddy to pick you up. Why should some poor bastard who had 2 schooners be hauled off like a criminal, while some baby-killing texter gets a $100 fine? You start tearing up licences on the spot, and I guarantee after one week you won't even see a mobile phone in a car.
But no. The government kill-em-with-guilt department will keep churning out scare ads, while some greedy ad agency gets richer and the taxpayer gets poorer. And some self-satisfied bureaucrat can pull his pud over his latest effort to Do Something. And we'll all have to watch the stupid crap every f**king ad break.
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