Anyway, IIRC, the whole premise of V is this: Aliens come to Earth in peace; Aliens give primitive Earthlings amazing technology and gadgets, just 'coz they're nice guys; Aliens are secretly lizards in disguise, harvesting humans like cattle for food; Aliens are exposed for the avaricious bastards they are, but the propaganda machine kicks in and no one believes it; A few intrepid Earthlings band together to fight the dastardly lizards Red Dawn style; Aliens eventually drop the pretence and just take over Earth completely; Much pew-pew ensues.
That about sums it up. Hey, makes for a cool TV show in my book!
So basically the crux of the show, the tagline if you will, is this: "We dun like you dang alienz eatin' our wimmen and chillun!" *click click*.
But it gots me to thinking. So the aliens will give us all this amazing technology, like interstellar space travel, unlimited energy, a cure for old age, and, heaven forbid, an economic system not based on shameless consumption and greed... and all they want is some people meat to munch on?
Where do we sign up?
I mean, it's not like we don't have a distressing surplice of Earthlings. Surely we wouldn't miss the less desirable members of our species, in exchange for this wonderful technology. I say, round up all the pedophiles, unrepentant criminals, CEOs, dole bludgers, politicians, capricious celebrities, hippies, feminazis, PC nazis... stick apples in their mouths, and serve up the lot of them.
What exactly is the problem here?
Just think of the veritable phalanxes of human trash we see every day, on the news, in the mall, on the street. Bogans, sickos, losers, bloodsuckers, f*cktards... the world is full of 'em. You can't move in a public space without tripping over them.
How long are the above degenerates going to continue to cost society, when they could instead be a precious resource? How long must the poor aliens go hungry because of our misguided sense of morality? Hell, I'd pay the aliens to take them all away.
Consider the following:
- The line-up of a single The Fattest Loser series could feed their entire home planet for a year;
- In a twist of irony, spammers could be literally made into spam for tasty Alien kiddies school lunches;
- Giant corporate CEOs would be especially nutritious, jam-packed with all that blood they have sucked from the people for so long.
And this, in exchange for living forever and zooming through the stars. Let's face it, we'd be fools not to go with this deal. I mean, it's not like War of the Worlds, where the Martians were mindless automatons indiscriminately harvesting everyone they came across... The "visitors" from V seem approachable and open to reason, and willing to allow us to "hand pick" their dinner for them, if it'll save them some grief.
Seriously, where do we sign up?
So, come, hear our cries oh Aliens! Welcome to Earth's All You Can Eat, relieve us of our unwanted populace. Although knowing my luck, the aliens will have their own version of "healthy organic eating" and will reject the human garbage we dish up as junk food.
